Families all over America are thinking about summer vacations. Most plans involve driving, whether it’s one long day to grandma’s or an ambitious two-week tour of national parks.Every trip should be a time to revel in a cocoon of family closeness--a time for growth, learning and joy in shared experiences. Our destination is less important than the trip itself. What we like most is getting there, not being there.
The first mention of vacation, often months ahead, marks the beginning of the journey. One of us brings home new maps from the automobile association, as well as colorful brochures of places to visit, and the fun begins. The children watch as we spread the maps on the table and discuss travel routes. None of this interests baby, but he won’t be left behind. The younger he begins, the better traveler he will become. We tape the maps to the wall over the breakfast table where they remain until after the trip. A child old enough to read looks through travel magazines for pictures of what he will see along the way and adds them to the growing kitchen collection.
A week or two prior to the trip, each member of the family begins adding luggage to the “staging” area. We limit what we take, but we never omit anything that will add to baby’s comfort (hence our own). Too bad about Daddy’s telescope.
The car is lubricated and the tires checked. We have been known to carry along a spare fan belt, gas filter, water hose, and gas pump when the journey is to a remote area. On occasion, we have needed them.
The eve of departure every able body helps pack the car, because we leave at dawn. Blankets and pillows are handy for the sleepy-heads. We present the small children with their woven car bags filled with new crayons, blunt scissors, a fresh color book, cellophane tape, and a few surprises. These bags are used only on family trips and are something they associate with the fun of travel. Each child also receives a blank scrapbook for storing ticket stubs, folders, postcards, and all assorted treasure collected along the way.
On that first morning we lay down the ground rules which will hold for the entire trip, and it is seldom necessary to repeat them. We have flexible times for rest, for quiet, for games, and for conversation. When a rumble of warfare rises in the rear, we move one child to the front between us. We set the permanently mounted stop- watch, and time is in. Those in the rear must await their turns, aware that additional nudging will make them lose out on that round, and the original argument is quickly forgotten. Occasionally, if the children show signs of crankiness, we set the watch for a fifteen-minute rest. Usually everyone welcomes the respite.
Parents’attitudes toward each other and toward the journey itself is prime in determining how the youngsters feel about this trip and traveling in general. When we show enthusiastic anticipation and maintain an agreeable manner between us, it rubs off on the children. Parents create the climate inside the automobile. If we are tense, bored, or angry, the kids will be, too.
Every good trip has disappointments to deal with, downgrade, or transform. When the motel does not have our reservation, we find a campground. If car trouble forces a layover, we find a laundromat.
Most parents know that children under ten prefer an early dinner in a light, bright coffee shop. For all of us, the novelty of eating out wanes quickly, and we break it with a daily picnic-party. The town park is often a good choice and sometimes has an attractive playground. If we’re out on the road, a scenic spot by a stream beats a drive-in hands down. The children need frequent stops and a chance to run and stretch their legs. Even though lunch may be only crackers and peanut butter washed down with instant lemonade, we always say that the trunk of our car opens into a fabulous dining room. Snacks in the car help everyone wait a little longer for the next official meal.
Although we take along special tapes and individual Wakmans for young passengers, we try to direct interest to the world around us. Roadside historical markers add to the interest and children like to read them to each other. Guide books point us to the best sightseeing, and we read aloud their descriptions on the way. After the tour, each child tells what he liked best.
Although stops for sightseeing, resting, and eating break into long days on the road, what we enjoy most is being together in the car. It is our finest opportunity to converse with each other. We talk about everything and anything. We sing songs and play games, and the miles pass by unnoticed. We count out-of-state license plates, and then see who is the first to discover twenty trailered boats. We all like guessing games.
Original stories concocted on the spot become favorites for the rest of the year. On a trip to Yellowstone the small children never tire of hearing all about Greta. She’s the geyser who moves to a city apartment and annoys her neighbors by spouting forth every morning at exactly 10:45. Grand Canyon becomes even more astounding when the children remember how the giant put too much pepper on his sandwiches and sneezed, and sneezed, until he blew a huge hole in the ground. The more ridiculous the story, the better the children seem to like it.
The older ones spend pleasurable hours absorbed in a pocket calculator and map. Their father explains how to do problems of D=RXT. We try to arrive at a certain point exactly when our son predicts we will.
Kids can calculate all manner of interesting problems. One year our son figured that his parents together had not smoked fifteen miles of cigarettes in the years since we had given them up. An altimeter and compass add to everyone’s interest.
As children mature there is less need to entertain and instruct. Almost before we can believe it one of them is old enough to drive and eager to do it. It is an immeasurable help and means more naps for us.
Each vacation is incomplete without the purchase of at least one special family memento. It can be anything from a small canoe from the Pacific Northwest to a furry bear spied in Glacier National Park gift shop. It must be representative of that particular trip and also small enough to hang on our Yule tree every Christmas to come. At tree trimming time the children open the ornament boxes and exclaim over their selections of past years. Invariably it leads to a discussion of that particular vacation and the memories it evokes.
On any drive longer than two days it is essential to start early and stop early. It is far better to rise an hour or two earlier and nap in the car than to arrive at a destination late in the day. A disastrous combination is a carful of tired travelers and nothing but “No Vacancy” signs. No matter how exciting the day, it is always a relief to arrive at a new campground or motel. We are glad to shed the responsibilities of the road, and the children are relieved to have the freedom of space.
Again ritual steps in. Children old enough help carry in gear. If camping is involved, with or without a recreational vehicle, each child has an assigned chore for setting up. Again, the simplest foods and least fuss are the rule. Afterwards, the older children are free to run, look, and explore. Here as well as at a motel little ones never go anywhere alone.
Whatever age a child may be, the most important thing a parent can do is to encourage him to talk and then to listen to what he has to say. The little capsule of family conversation moving along the highway is the most rewarding place for intimacy and mutual appreciation. Invariably we notice growth and positive development in our children after a period of car travel.
To generate and maintain enthusiasm across the miles and the years, start early with small children, precondition the family well in advance of each trip, be flexible, be happy, and, most of all, enjoy one another. If, when you are nearly home after a two-thousand-mile journey, your child says, “Take the long way home,” you know you’ve done it right.
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